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I’ve written this document in hopes of helping others safely explore what can be an extremely erotic and natural part of a couple’s sex play… anal sex.

Often when a couple wants to venture into the world of sex, they discover one of two things: they aren’t sure how to go about doing it, or they find out the hard way that it can be very painful.

Anal sex should NOT be painful; if it is, you are doing it wrong. There are a few things I’d like to share with you about anal sex that can turn it from a painful experience, into a wonderful sexual exploration with your partner.

First and foremost, we must address the issue of sexually transmitted diseases. If you are not in a monogomous, long term relationship where you have both been tested at least twice over the period of six months for STD’s, then PLEASE use a condom. I cannot stress enough how important wearing a condom is when engaging in any kind of risky sex, especially anal sex. Now with that out of the way, we can continue with the advice.

HOW-TO: The Details

Lubricant: The first key to having successful anal sex is lubricant. A popular lubricant is KY-Jelly, but sex stores offer a wide variety of lubricants. Make sure you get a water-based lubricant that is COMPATIBLE with condoms. Oil based lubricants contain very small particles that break down condoms and cause tiny tears in the latex that may not be visible to the human eye (but you can bet the germs could get through!).

Patience: The second key to great anal sex is patience. You cannot slick on some lubricant and suddenly expect to be ramming things into your partner’s ass. There are two muscles that control the ‘door’ to your partners bottom, so to speak. The outer muscle can be controlled voluntarily. Whether your partner is relaxed or not, they should be able to will this muscle to relax. The second muscle however, is controlled by reflex. It has a mind of its own. If your partner is not relaxed, this muscle is NOT going to open up for anything. This is where patience comes in.

Getting started: Anal sex is something that you have to work up to. Start by laying with your partner and simply exploring. Use some lubricant and use a finger to simply caress their anus. After awhile, ask them if they are comfortable with continuing further, and if so, slide your finger very SLOWLY inside. Doing this slowly is the key, and listen to your partner if they tell you to stop. If they do, stop what you are doing and wait (don’t suddenly pull out!). If they tell you to pull out, do so slowly, and maybe wait awhile before trying again. If they give you the go ahead to continue, keep exploring with your finger gently.

From finger to dildo: When you and your partner decide that you’ve done enough exploring with your finger, then it’s time to move onto something bigger. I wouldn’t suggest jumping right into using your penis just yet. Try using a small smooth dildo. Any ridges, no matter how small, will scrape as the toy gets pushed in, so check your toys for any seams and edges. Try to find a toy that is made out of smooth moulded plastic or rubber. You should use a toy that has a wide base on it. Most toys designed for anal play have a wide base to prevent the toy from disappearing inside your partner’s body. Play at your own risk if you use anything that doesn’t have a wide base! This is how toys get lost up there!

Bring on the penis: After you and your partner have worked for some time together with fingers and toys, you will be ready to move onto actually using a real penis. (yay!) This might be only a short time after you started exploring, or it could be several days to weeks. My partner and I spent a considerable amount of time exploring until I felt comfortable enough with going further, and believe me, it was worth the wait. When you move up to using your penis, remember to take things very slowly still. The slight anxiety from moving to something bigger could cause your partner to tighten up a bit. Apply a LOT of lube. Maybe use your fingers or a toy to get into the swing of things, and to lessen any anxieties the person might have. When you are going to actually use your penis, check with your partner first to make sure they are ready. When they give you the go ahead, take it slow. With all the lubricant, the penis will tend to “pop” right in there, so when that happens, stop moving and check with your partner if you should continue. If your partner ever tells you to stop, simply stop moving and wait until they either tell you to get out, or tell you to keep going.

Remember: An important thing to remember about the insides of a persons’ ass is that it is not a straight tunnel. There are bends and curves, and you have to be gentle so that you do not bang into a ‘wall’. Taking it slow and gentle is the best way to guarentee a pain free experience.

Success at last: And now, if all things have gone well, you have had a successful experience with anal sex!!! At the same time, it must be mentioned that some people might discover that they simply don’t like it. At least you tried something new. If you discover that you do like it, suddenly you have a whole new world to explore.

QUESTIONS and ANSWERS

Is anal sex messy?

Normally, anal play is not messy due to the fact that the colon is only full of feces shortly before someone has to go to the bathroom. You cannot stick many things up far enough to get messy if the person has been to the bathroom that day already. Anal sex is definately not as clean as other types of sex. Any toys that get used in someone’s ass should be cleaned thoroughly with soap and water. NEVER share your toys, they can carry STDs, regardless of how well you wash them. If you are particularly worried about a possible mess, you might want to consider an enema. Please follow instructions as enemas must be done at a certain temperature, and should be done slowly.

I’m worried about harmful bacteria…

There are several different kinds of bacteria present in a person’s colon that would be very harmful to someone if they were ingested. Make sure you wash your genitals, toys, hands, and anything else that came into contact with these germs immediately after you have anal sex. Some of these bacterias can make you very ill, so its best to avoid getting them near your mouth.

Some people enjoy engaging in rimming (the act of oral sex on another person’s anus). I’ve heard that rimming is a fairly safe activity if you are only licking the outside of someone’s anus. But it’s best to talk to a doctor if you are concerned about it.

If you are sticking your tongue inside of someone’s ass, you could get very sick. Some people like to use dental dams, or saran wrap, when they are rimming. You place it over the person’s anus and have oral sex ‘through’ the plastic, much like a condom for your mouth. This will prevent you from having oral contact with any bacteria.

Do not go from ass to vagina without changing condoms, or washing imbetween! Women’s vagina’s are the perfect breeding ground for nasty bacteria because they are warm and wet, and you will give your partner an infection if you aren’t careful! Also, women can suffer from urinary tract infections if you track bacteria from the anus to her urethra.

What if I lose a toy up there???

Don’t panic! First of all, have your partner relax. Next, try to gently retrieve the object with your fingers. If this is too painful, or isn’t working, then take some time to relax together. Have a cup of tea, talk about something together, get your minds off of the toy. After you’ve had a few minutes to relax, try to get the toy again. If you CANNOT retrieve the toy, DO NOT just leave it up there. Contrary to belief, you won’t necessarily work it out of your body naturally. It may seem embarassing, but go to the hospital. Normally they should be able to get the toy out by using a muscle relaxant of some sort, and they have better instruments for pulling things out rather than using clumsy fingers. It’s not the end of the world if a doctor finds out you enjoy anal sex!

Can I get pregnant having anal sex?

This might sound like a dumb question to some of you, but it really isn’t. If you are not using a condom, technically, a girl could get pregnant. If cum dribbles down from her ass (which it will do if you put it in there), it can find it’s way to the right places under the right situations. This of course is not very likely to happen, but if you don’t want a pregnancy, you’d better do everything you possibly can to prevent it. If you are using a condom, no, a woman should not get pregnant from anal sex.

Conclusion

I hope that some of you have found this article useful. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to send an email to: monica@monicaweb.net

This article was provided by Monica’s Reviews at http://www.monicasreviews.com where Monica reviews porn with personality and provides free erotic stories, articles and information.